because
i get sick of doing shit and (want to) quit, even if it is strictly a task i chose for personal leisure
"this is stupid" or "fuck this" runs in my head much in the same way intrusive thoughts tend to loop
i feel the need to sleep rather than complete the task, or that the task drains my energy abnormally
i sleep for 2 - 3 days and when i wake up i feel like i have no energy, which is why i initially slept through the 2nd or 3rd day - i wake up briefly and feel fatigued or mentally powerless
sometimes i cannot internally justify wakefulness, even if to take my medications on schedule
or ease my own increasing hunger
to relieve myself is sometimes the only thing that gets me out of bed, but i often return to bed and even if i don't intend to sleep, it seems inevitable that i will
during the day sometimes i feel the need to stop and go to sleep; i fantasize about finding a way to sleep while i'm trying to perform tasks, and this seems to occur indiscriminately and sporadically
i am aware of four things that commonly contribute to similar symptoms:
- major depressive disorder
- antidepressants (prozac)
- blood pressure medications (propranolol)
- bupropion withdrawal (my dosage may be inappropriate)
last night (friday night), i estimate having slept from 1230am12062014 to 1230pm12062014 (12hrs)
directly before bed friday, around 1200am12062014, i had eaten:
- three pieces of (frozen) pizza with hamburger
- shredded mozzarella and green yellow and red peppers (added, baked)
- a partial banana
- about two raw florets of broccoli, sans stems
- 1-2 servings of lactose free vanilla ice cream
- about a glass of cranberry/pomegranate juice
- about 1130pm12052014, i had smoked a modest joint to myself
i had gotten up from bed at about 11pm12052014 and taken my medication:
- 10mg Propranolol
- 40mg Prozac
- 150mg Budeprion XL
i slept from about late thursday night 03am12052014 (44hrs)
No comments:
Post a Comment